Your Energy Affects Your Dog More Than You Think

Have you ever noticed that your dog seems more reactive when you're having a stressful day? Or that they're calmer when you're relaxed?

This isn't coincidence. Dogs are incredibly attuned to human emotional states. They read us constantly — and they don't just observe our emotions. They often absorb them.

Dogs Are Emotional Sponges

Dogs have evolved over thousands of years to live alongside humans. Part of that evolution includes an remarkable ability to read our facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, and even our scent (stress hormones actually change how we smell).

Research confirms what many dog owners intuitively know: dogs can distinguish between happy and angry human faces, they respond differently to tense versus relaxed voices, and they're more likely to approach people who are calm versus stressed.

But here's what's even more interesting: dogs don't just notice our emotions — they often mirror them.

Studies have shown that cortisol (the stress hormone) levels in dogs correlate with cortisol levels in their owners. When you're chronically stressed, your dog's baseline stress level tends to rise too.

What This Means for Behavior

If your dog is anxious, reactive, or struggling to settle, your own emotional state might be playing a bigger role than you realize.

Consider these scenarios:

On walks: You see another dog approaching and immediately tense up, hold your breath, and grip the leash tighter. Your dog reads this as "threat incoming" and reacts accordingly.

Before leaving: You feel guilty about leaving your dog alone, so you give lots of anxious affection before heading out. Your dog picks up on your anxiety and associates your departure with something worrying.

During training: You're frustrated because your dog isn't "getting it." Your frustration makes your dog nervous, which makes them perform worse, which makes you more frustrated...

At home: You're stressed about work, scrolling your phone, and radiating tension. Your dog can't settle because you can't settle.

None of this is about blame. It's about awareness. Once you understand the connection, you can start to use it intentionally.

The Power of Co-Regulation

Here's the good news: the emotional connection between you and your dog works both ways. Just as your stress can increase your dog's stress, your calm can help your dog regulate.

This is called co-regulation — the process by which one nervous system helps regulate another. It's why babies calm down when held by a relaxed parent, why anxious people feel better around calm friends, and why your dog can settle more easily when you're genuinely relaxed.

For dogs who struggle with anxiety or reactivity, this is powerful information. You can become a calming anchor for your dog, helping them move from a stressed state to a settled one.

Practical Ways to Use This

Check yourself before engaging with your dog. If you're stressed, rushed, or frustrated, take a moment to settle yourself first. A few deep breaths, a moment of stillness. Your dog will notice the difference.

Practice calm presence. Spend time just being with your dog without an agenda. Sit on the floor, breathe slowly, and let them settle near you. This is co-regulation in action.

Notice your trigger responses. When you see something that usually triggers your dog (another dog, a stranger, a loud noise), what happens in your body? Do you tense? Hold your breath? Grip the leash? Practice staying physically relaxed, even when anticipating a reaction.

Create calm rituals. Before walks, before training sessions, before potentially stressful events — take a moment to ground yourself. Your dog will follow your lead.

Work on your own nervous system. If you're chronically stressed, your dog is living with that stress too. Taking care of your own mental health isn't just good for you — it's good for your dog.

When It's Not Just About You

To be clear: your energy isn't the only factor in your dog's behavior. Dogs can have anxiety, fear, and reactivity that stems from genetics, early experiences, trauma, or medical issues. You shouldn't blame yourself for your dog's struggles.

But your emotional state is one variable you have significant control over. And for many dogs, having a calm, regulated human makes a meaningful difference in their ability to feel safe and learn.

The Ripple Effect

Here's something beautiful about this work: as you practice being calmer for your dog, you often become calmer in general. The techniques that help your dog — deep breathing, staying present, letting go of frustration — also help you.

Many of our clients find that training their anxious dog becomes an unexpected pathway to managing their own stress. The relationship becomes mutually regulating, a positive feedback loop of increasing calm.

Your dog is watching you. They're reading your breath, your posture, your face, your energy. And they're taking cues about how to feel.

So before you ask your dog to be calm, ask yourself: Am I?